Dirty Rotten Humans

Never trust a human. Here they were, placing blankets and treats in the wretched cat carrier. The top was off, the bottom placed in our favorite corner. We should have known they were up to no good.

As proof of the truly twisted nature of humans, we offer the example of poor, poor Notorious. Just minding his own business, waiting for someone to open the back door so he could test the weather, and perhaps enjoy a bit of sunshine before breakfast. Alas, before the tiniest morsel was placed in our bowl, Notorious was roughly grabbed up and placed in the reassembled carrier. (When, exactly, did the  staff have time for that?)

And then it was off to that hell-hole of horrors that the staff have dubbed “the vet’s office”. The four of us left at home spent hours wondering and worrying about the fate of our companion. Well, when we were awake, that is. Not that anyone hasn’t ever returned from that place, but such rude things happen there. Poked and prodded in all the wrong places, light shined in your eyes, before someone finally sticks a needle or two in you. Then it’s back in the box for another trip in the car.

So miserable. And for what?

Notorious made it home after an extended visit to the vet, which is most unusual. He was drowsy and not the most coherent of cats, but he could tell us that the vet had been fumbling around in his mouth. Closer examination revealed an entire tooth was missing.

An entire tooth! What fresh terror is this?

Notorious has been giving the staff the cold shoulder since his return, with the exception of the morning chin rub. We can’t really blame him – a whole tooth. What possible use could this vet have for a tooth? True, the tooth had been bothering him, and dinner has been easier since the tooth was removed, but is it too much trouble to ask first?

After a brief discussion, we agreed that we would let Notorious select one of his favorites for our drinking pleasure. Notorious opted for a red, since he felt the need for something fortifying. His choice? SLO Down Wines’ Sexual Chocolate.

This is a brilliant blend of Zinfandel and Syrah. It’s an unusual combination of grapes (most other winemakers would add another grape or two), but it is seriously yummy. The Syrah lends that peppery kick and that full frontal flavor at the top of the sip while the Zin provides a long, luscious body that positively glides down your throat.  Chocolate, dark, ripe berries….If you aren’t smacking your lips after your first glass, then you really need to have your taste buds examined.

Our staff once had the opportunity to meet Brandon Allen, the mastermind behind Sexual Chocolate and SLO Down Wines. It was only a quick meeting during one of those endless fundraisers for some charity or other, but our staffer passed along one of our more brilliant ideas – Mike Tyson saying Sexual Chocolate. That’s it, the entire ad.

Now we dare you to pour a glass of this magnificent mixture and not hear Mike Tyson saying Sexual Chocolate over and over again.



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