Noises Off, Please!

One wait-staff member recently had a business trip to parts unknown, at least to us. (And we hope it remains that way.) Normally, such a venture would hold little interest for us but our other human decided to join in and turn a simple two-day trip into a week-long escapade. In days of yore that would mean a trip to the vet for us and a week spent sharing space with other cats. Despicable. More recently, that has meant a visit from the cat sitter.

We have mixed feelings about the cat sitter. Certainly, we prefer the comforts of home to small cages and strange felines. And the cat sitter isn’t here ALL the time so we have the run of the house for most of the day. The downside is the presence of, well, the cat sitter.

She does try, we’ll admit that. She cleans the pans and leaves fresh food and water. But then, she tries to pet us and play with us, and she makes lots of strange kissy sounds, which are, we assume, supposed to be attractive but really are not. In typical slow human manner, she did not grasp the simple idea conveyed by our continued refusal to appear in her presence. Even hiding under the bed covers was an ineffective deterrent.

She actually lifted the edge of the cover and insisted on telling Big Fat that he was a sweetie-pooh!

So it was a grand day when the wait-staff returned. After enduring the attentions of the cat sitter for a week, which also meant being inside the entire time, we were treated to fresh fish bites and hours spent sleeping in the backyard, soaking up the sun.

Clearly, an appropriate wine was required.

Fuzzums selected a lovely chardonnay from Mer de Soleil. It looked like sunshine in a glass and it tasted like pure happiness. A lovely long flavor that stayed in the mouth without ever going tannic. It was fruity and perky and absolutely yummy.

It was perfect.

And then, more strangers arrived this morning. They have cut holes in the wall, removed a human toilet, and talked of removing pipes and spotting leaks. There is talk of a multi-day operation. It’s all very disturbing and our happiness has been curtailed.

Worst of all, we have no access to the wine, as the strangers keep tromping throughout the house. We have been forced into the garage and the back yard, to watch and wait from afar as our quietude is ruined.

Tonight will clearly call for a red – something dark and stormy to suit our mood. If only we could peruse the wine….

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