Quiet Time

The staff have been alternating between bouts of deep sadness and angry outbursts these last few days – well, weeks really. As the mood often revolves around current human affairs, we can’t say that we know exactly what causes all these strange moods, but the fact that humans are involved at all is probably all any good cat needs to know.

We’ve been able to determine that the anger emerges after reports about “white supremacists”. We’re not entirely sure what this means, though we’ve been able to determine that it involves one group claiming to be better than all others because of the color of their skin. This argument is, of course, completely illogical. Those poor humans – bare skin exposed to the elements. It’s not an especially attractive look, but we’ve learned to ignore it. And, to be quite frank, if there is some difference in the color of the skin, we don’t see it.

Literally, we don’t see it. And we prefer it that way. Really, humans just aren’t interesting enough to demand that much attention. If we’re really being honest here, humans exist solely to provide for us…and some other creatures as well. (Stupid dogs.) But primarily us. Appearance is not important as long as the food is served at the appointed time and the treats are forthcoming when demanded. And, of course, space on the bed.

But humans seem to get so caught up in other humans. Clearly, humans aren’t spending enough time celebrating their feline companions. Or, horror of horrors, they don’t have a feline in their household to celebrate. Seriously, how could such people even be allowed to have a home? Surely there’s some requirement that having a home means having an animal to share it with. (Normally, we don’t approve of canines, but for the sake of keeping the humans in check, we will grudgingly accept the presence of dogs in some households as a good thing.)

As clear proof that some humans are being allowed to roam the planet without a shared friendship with another animal, we turn to the news that has made our staff so sad. And we also must warn our fellow felines out there about this latest bad behavior. Humans are now deliberately running over other humans with their automobiles. This has become a growing problem in human populations, with the frequency of such attacks increasing.

Because life isn’t hard enough for those creatures who still live wild, now it seems that humans may be running you over on purpose.

Heartless, cruel creatures! It’s enough to make us wonder why we still tolerate humans. Surely justice requires a quick end to these loud-mouthed, chest-thumping destroyers of all that is good. How many more species must go extinct before the planet can be reclaimed?

It’s enough to give us dreams of a human-free world. Just imagine, you could venture across a road without worrying that some mindless biped was going to squish you. Ah, bliss!

But we would miss the good things as well. The wine, the chin scratches, a warm room on a cold night. It’s a conundrum, no doubt. We’ll just have to hope that the humans find a way to sort this all out. In the meantime, we suggest a bottle of something soothing, like a Mondavi Fume Blanc – full of light and honey and fresh, juicy peaches – or a Beekeeper Old Vine Zinfandel – big black berries bursting with peppery goodness and a smattering of tannins. Either one is a much better way to spend your evening than watching news reports.


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